Man Trades Wife For Finals Tickets…Or Tries To. Papelbon LOVES Your Ex-Wife

Its things like this that give Celtics fans the fame they deserve.

I have a couple takes on this. At Lion In Oil there is the theory that dude from Medford isn’tpimping his wife for dinner, movie and sex. It’s a sweet thought, but let’s look at the Craigslist post again:

“trade 1 night with my wife shes 5-4 105 brown hair eyes great body tanned toned very pretty girl 1 night all safe and normal stuff dinner movie drinks no drugs or crazy requests serious replies only must reply with a picture to be considered please normal guys only”

Now let’s break it down.

1) Contains the “hot wife’s” stats. She’s 5-4 and 105, brown hair eyes great body tanned toned very pretty girl. Ok. So I mean….yeah. Ok. The  “great body tanned toned” is there for a reason.

2) “1 night all safe normal stuff” now, let’s assume that means normal stuff as in “No orgies or Monstertruck rallies”. “Dinner movie drinks”. So he’s got it planned out for you already. You pay to take his wife to dinner a movie and then get some drinks. Fine.

3) “No drugs or crazy requests”. Uhhh….what? Does that mean extreme bondage and furry sex are out? He’s saying “you can do my wife, but gently and kindly” here.

4) “must reply with a picture to be considered please normal guys only” So any of you with cleft hands NEED NOT APPLY! NORMAL GUYS ONLY!!! So not only would you be giving him something worth around $1000 for one night with his wife…but you also must be good looking enough to pull it off. Nice.

THIS IS WHAT THE NBA FINALS IS ALL ABOUT!!!

In related Boston Sports wife news Jonathan Papelbon loves him some nice nude ex-wife photos. Incredible story.

Am I more surprised by a guy from Medford pimping his wife or the Red Sox bullpen signing a baseball for a guy named “The Hammer” who carries around nudes of his ex-wife and distributes them at Red Sox games?

Nothing in Boston surprises me anymore.

I wish that was a hyperbolic statement but it isn’t.

I’m waiting for the day when they decide that all Duck Tour boats are becoming part of the T and will act like pay gondolas delivering non-tourists to and fro on the Charles River. Not that far away.

Also in the ‘this shit is absurd and therefore could only be related to Boston, Britney Spears or Milton Bradley’ category, Milton apparently wanted to throw down some fisticuffs with a Royals announcer last night.

Perfect example of why MB MUST join the Red Sox as a DH at some point in the near future. While they’re at it they can try to bring back Carl Everett, Jose Offerman, Rickey Henderson, Jose Canseco, Mo Vaughn and Roger Clemens (writing his name even as a joke makes me cringe).

The Red Sox could use an old, steroid infested, volatile clubhouse atmosphere. Milton Bradley would fit in perfectly…