Novice Fantasy Football: Week 4 (a learning experience)

by Enigma

Hello friends, it’s Enigma again. But not the same fun-loving Enigma you have come to love and embrace into your hearts. No, this Enigma is wiser. This Enigma is all business.

No, not really. I’m kidding (sort of). But i did learn a very very important lesson this week: do not trust the advice that Yahoo! Sports gives you regarding your team. That was a truly novice move, and something that the rest of my league seems to already hold true.

This week I could have taken out a giant, Mr. John “Strike Anywhere” Falkowski, our undefeated league leader.

He beat me by 8 points.

A mere 8 points!

And if only I didn’t listen to Yahoo! Sports and play Saints RB Pierre thomas (who didn’t get a single point).

However, Yahoo! did tell me to pick up Rian Lindell, the Bills kicker, and he ended up getting more points this week than my quarterback and 2 of my Wide Receivers. 

I JUST DON’T KNOW WHO TO TRUST ANYMORE!!

This week I also learned the glorious, christmas-morning, crystal meth-esque adrenaline rush of totally raping the waiver wire. It’s so much fun!

Replacing my backups and finding new, better kickers and team defenses is fucking awesome. But, as I said, this week was a learning experience… and i learned that, while it’s addictive to sift through all the free agents like a thrift store sidewalk sale or the free sample tables at BJ’s Wholesale Club, it must be done in moderation.

And sure, I’m a little disgruntled about trading Laveranues Coles to York Roberts this week, considering he got him like 40 fantasy points. But I’m getting over it. The important thing is that I’ve learned a lot in week 4, and I’m going to take what knowledge i’ve acrued and use it towards the many weeks to come.

For now, a humble Enigma crosses his fingers and trudges on.

Red Sox Prep For Playoffs. A Reflection On A Long Season.

As long as the baseball season is, it always feels short in retrospect.

It seems like just yesterday people thought the Mariners wouldn’t suck. Or that the Tigers were winning a World Series…

What was I doing the whole time?

Working. Cleaning out a new apartment. Moving. Working. That’s about it. Throw in a couple trips to Rhode Island, a few games I attended in April and a few in September and that’s how it passed.

Don’t get me wrong, I was watching. Even when I wasn’t watching I was constantly reminded when the Red Sox were at home by the stupid amount of people crowding all the trains on my way back from work.

And Red Sox fans are not normal commuters. Oh no. They spit in the face of train etiquette.

I remember opening day in Japan like it was yesterday. Some of the bars around town opened at 5 a.m. to serve eggs. Others stayed open from the night before. At lunch that day my co-worker Crowley and I complained about not being near a sausage and peppers cart. What a great day.

One of my favorite things about the baseball season that really is kind of unique to baseball is how much your mind can change throughout the season.

I was down on Manny. I don’t know if it was his fault or Boras’, but clearly Manny was content to play like shit in Boston around the midpoint. The Red Sox gave up way too much to deal him, but got Jason Bay back and since then, I’ve been a lot more content with this team.

My friend Sloan was convinced it was a bad idea to trade Manny at the time and still thinks so:

My problem with the BoSox trading away Manny Ramirez was that he’s a great hitter who can change the course of a playoff series and help a team win a championship. York, a Red Sox fan, was all about dealing Manny for Jason Bay, and obviously some people more powerful than me agreed with him. My main idea was that the Red Sox were as likely as anyone to win the title this year, and that’s not something you pass up lightly. York disagreed.

Disagree. This team isn’t winning Shit Sloan. You know that, or should know that, and I know that. They are HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE under pressure.

THIS TEAM HAS BEEN SWEPT 6 TIMES SLOAN! 6 TIMES!!!

As much as I’d love to see the Rays beat the Cubs in the series (breaking the Rays’ tragic and historic ten year curse) I still think the BoSox should be feared until they’re beaten. And I still think it’s stupid for the defending World Series champions to deal their best player.

See how I said horrible 4 times there. That’s how you know I was serious.

Today?

If the Red Sox can get by the Angels, I think they have a pretty good shot at getting to the World Series. The Angels have owned them this season. So much hitting,, so much base running, so much pitching…

Obviously the Red Sox have owned the Angels in the playoffs the last few seasons. But that was sort of a different Angels team. I was really sold on this Angels team a few months ago. They probably should have won 110 games in the shitty AL West. But they didn’t.

I’m really not sold on the White Sox. Not without Carlos Quentin. They score a lot, but they also give up a lot.

The Twins might be the surprise of the season. Well aside from the Rays. But can the Twins actually put up the offense they would need to compete with the Rays or Red Sox or Cubs or even White Sox? I don’t think so…

More on tonight’s playoff game later on…

But I like this Red Sox team. I think that if JD Drew is healthy, they are going to be really great offensively. While they are not a team with two legendary post-season power hitters hitting back to back any more, I feel like they have a lot more spark, a lot more fight and a lot more guts than they did before the Manny trade. It seems as clear as day to me as I’m sure it does to anyone else who has watched them evolve since Manny skipped town.

The main thing I was worried about, Manny’s bat aside, was that Ortiz might be depressed or angry at the team and might drop off in an already shaky season.

But to watch this team come together and see Ortiz and Pedroia interact, it is clear that David Ortiz is still happy. He still wants to win. He’s no Mr. October, but in Boston, he’s good as Mr. keeps-coming-back-when-you-thought-they-were-dead.

That alone is enough to scare opposing pitchers.

Mets Miss October Yet Again…

The Mets had no bullpen in 2008.

As much as every team pretty much has no bullpen, the Mets really had no bullpen.

They had an injured closer, no real set up man, a guy who makes Mike Timlin look like K-Rod (Aaron Heilman) and overall just never got it together.

I also don’t think it would hurt for the Mets to invest in another ace starter in the off-season. Someone like CC Sabathia would be pretty helpful to a team without a bullpen.

In all honesty, I really don’t think the Mets would have gotten out of the first round if they made the playoffs anyway, but I’m sure most Mets fans just feel like it is nothing short of tragedy that ANOTHER Mets team played hard for most of the season, essentially lead their division 5 of 6 months and then fell to pieces at crunch time.

This team just didn’t look like it was built for the postseason. Not enough pitching and probably one more big bat shy of what they would have needed.

On the plus side, Jerry Manuel is probably coming back in 2009.

Maybe in 2009.

Scott Linehan Gets Fired. Lane Kiffin and Ken Whisenhunt Are Still Alive In the NFL Coaches Survival Pool.

 There are a few ways to fail as a head coach in the NFL.

Some coaches are so “old school” (mean) that they alienate their players. Some coaches try too hard to be friends with their players and end up getting taken for granted or not being taken seriously. Some coaches make moronic decision after moronic decision and lose games that were otherwise winnable. Some coaches gamble too much on the field. Some coaches gamble too little. Some coaches just don’t have a lot to work with. Some coaches have plenty to work with but don’t know how to use it.

Scott Linehan was truly horrible with the Rams these last 1.25 seasons.

In Linehan’s defense, this Rams team was hurt last year and clearly was built for success in 1999-2003. They are 5 years past their expiration date in a lot of key areas (Steven Jackson, Torry Holt and Marc Bulger aside).

Are they the worst team in the NFL?

Probably not.

The Rams will probably win 2-4 games this season.

But it won’t be pretty.

2008 has seemed like the year of the collapsing offensive line through the first quarter. Pittsburgh looked weak. New England has all sort sof issues. The Rams are horrific. It seems like a lot of once-strong offensive lines are just old now. And it all seemed to happen overnight.

Maybe that’s the way it goes. Maybe the most important thing to do for a team’s offensive line is to always draft in advance so you always have a young guy ready to take over when someone gets hurt or just can’t seem to pick up blocks anymore.

Linehan isn’t to blame for the Ram’s lack of offensive line this season. But he is to blame for their under-performing defense, the lack of confidence his players have int he organization and the indefensible decision to bench Marc Bulger and start Trent Green.

I guess he knew he was playing with house money at that point and figured he might as well put it all on black before the security guards came over and dragged him out.

It came up red.

Lane Kiffin, you’re on the clock.

Cavaliers Owner Dan Gilbert Says Speculating the LeBron James Would Leave Cleveland Is “An Insult To The City”.

Dan Gilbert is living under a large Free Stamp named “denial” in Cleveland these days.

Gilbert is upset that sports writers have assumed that LeBron James will skip town the second his contract in Cleveland is over.

I’m not saying I know LeBron’s every move or anything, but I did read this article over the Summer about how he would like to play in Europe for more money than the NBA allots to each team’s annual salary cap…

Additionally, if trading Richard Jefferson, Jason Kidd and the rest of your team that makes money for an unproven Yi Jilian (the guy does make some sick moves against a folding chair…and not in the WWF way..unfortunately…?) and a 52 year old Keith Van Horn doesn’t scream salary dump/phoning it in for top picks for the next two years, what does?

I can only think of one more move the Nets could make to guarantee that they are one of the worst teams in the NBA over the next two seasons both on the court and chemistry-wise. It involves bringing in Stephon Marbury, paying him the veteran minimum and a busload of college interns for him to fondle.

LeBron James will leave Cleveland.

Unless Cleveland can pack up it’s factories, Drew Carey, The Browns, Indians and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and move it to Manhattan.

The only thing that is an insult to Cleveland is the Indians logo which is quite possibly the most offensive sports logo of all time.

That and Skyline chili. That shit is an insult to chili. And that shit is factorial!

Troy Brown Retires.

Troy Brown announced his retirement today.

He spent his entire career with the Patriots and was a true fan favorite. There was just something about Troy Brown that people loved.

I think a lot of it was that he was an everyman. Or as close to an ‘everyman’ as a professional athlete can be. Troy Brown always seemed to be playing as hard as he could on the field. He was always reliable to come up in big situations.

But he wasn’t built for football.

At 5′ 10″, 190 lbs., Brown was about the same size as any wide receiver on your high school’s varsity team. He wasn’t an imposing guy. He wasn’t a an amazing physical specimen. He was just a guy like any other average guy off the street who worked hard at what he did to improve himself. 

In his line of work, had to work twice as hard his whole life to even get noticed.

Say what you will about Boston sports fans, but I think that we truly identify with guys like that.

The reason why everyone has always loved Troy Brown is the same reason why everyone loves Wes Welker and Dustin Pedroia.

These guys are proof that you can get what what you put in. Something I realized when I was a kid and loved Troy Brown.

Brown was drafted by the Patriots in 1993. He was an 8th round pick from Marshall.

Let me restate that: Brown was selected in a round of the NFL draft that doesn’t exist anymore, from a college that was Division 1AA at the time.

Over the course of his career he caught 557 passes (a Patriots record) for 6,366 yards (2nd in franchise history). He had 31 TDs. He also had some huge catches that lead the Patriots to 3 Superbowls.

But these are far from Hall Of Fame statistics.

Brown never won  MVP. He only made the Pro Bowl once. He wasn’t the best receiver in the NFL ever in his career (the only time he was even close to the top 10 was 2001, his Pro Bowl season).

But #80 should be retired at Gillette Stadium.

When a player unselfishly gives his entire career to an organization, is a leader on the field and in the locker room, is willing to play anywhere the team needs him to play (he spent a lot of time playing Cornerback and working on special teams at the end of his career) and helps take the team to the Superbowl 5 times in his career, how could you not retire his number?

There are some teams that retire too many numbers (Celtics), while others retire too few (Red Sox). I understand the reasoning behind both.

Retiring a  number at a team’s stadium is a great honor for a player, second only to being in the Hall Of Fame. 

But I sort of feel like being retired at the stadium is an honor that should be reserved for guys who gave everything they had to a specific team for their entire career.

Troy Brown isn’t going to Canton.

But how could the Patriots organization ignore a guy with his heart?

If anything, I feel like being retired in your home stadium should be an honor given only to those who wouldn’t be remembered anywhere else.

When Tom Brady retires, he’ll go to Canton. Everyone will know his name in 50 years. He doesn’t need to be remembered in the Patriots Stadium to be remembered in general. Kids who are going to be born in New England in 2015 will grow up hearing stories about Tom Brady and the glory days of the Patriots.

Troy Brown is retired and 50 years from now, only those of us who had the privilige of watching him play will remember everything he did for the Patriots.

How could you not retire #80? 

Some things go deeper than stats.

Thanks for all the memories Troy.

Mets Lose Again. The Game Was Agonizing and I’m Not Even a Mets Fan…

I don’t know how many days in a row I can post pictures of Mets players and/or mascots looking depressed.

Last night’s shit-showat Shea began with the Mets givng up a 0-1 lead, then, making Carlos Zambrano throw a lot of pitches, Zambrano walking in a run for the tie and then Carlos Delgado hitting a grand slam to put the Mets up 5-1.

You would think a team that must win every game to even have a chance at the playoffs would bring their A game against a team that has already clinched and is definitely playing hard, but clearly doesn’t care as much. You’d figure the Mets would go into shutdown mode and just throw strikes and nurse the lead. Not waste their bullpen. You know. It was a good opportunity for them to put the Cubs away.

But not this team.

At one point Rick Sutcliffe said something to the effect of “I really feel bad for these Mets fans. This team sucks.”

One direct quote I do have was my girlfriend who said “It must be shitty to be on a bad team. But I bet it is way worse to be a good team that plays poorly and loses all the time.”

That pretty much sums up the Mets.

David Wright has gone on record saying that their impending collapse of 2008 has NOTHING to do with their collapse of 2007. He would know better than me I guess…but who or what does this team need to add to actually get the job done?

Will they go after C.C. Sabathia this off season? Ben Sheets? Maybe both of them? Will they try to get a better outfield? One thing they could do is offer the Pirates Ricardo Rincon in exchange for Nate McLouth.

That deal sounds like it is right up Pittsburgh’s alley.

The worst thing that happened last night (aside from blowing a 4 run lead in a must win game) was when the Mets had Daniel Murphy on third with no outs in the bottom of the 9th.

Obviously I don’t blame it all on Jerry Manuel, but come on! The first two batters ate shit. No one could hit a deep fly ball. No one could even hit a shallow outfield fly (which probably could have been enough to score Murphy). With two outs, how could you NOT go for the suicide squeeze? Better yet, with 0 outs, why not try to sacrifice bunt in the runner? Put on a hit and run, lay a bunt down the first base line and have Murphy sliding into home.

Here’s a gem of stat from ESPN:

New York stranded seven runners in the seventh through ninth innings. The Metsfailed to score after putting runners at the corners with no outs in the seventh, then got only one run — on Jeff Samardzija‘s bases-loaded walk to Ramon Martinez — after putting runners at the corners with no outs in the eighth. The ninth was even worse.

 

“That’s bad. That’s bad. That’s bad,” Manuel said.

“At this juncture, probably our toughest defeat,” Manuel said. “No question.”

The Brewers won last night too.

Also, does anyone else think that if the Brewers and Mets combined their rosters they might actually be fun to watch and good? I think they should look into that…I’m sure Bud Selig would approve.

This ship is definitely sinking.

Plaxico Burress Suspended For 1 Game.

Plaxico Burress has been suspended for 1 game by the Giants organization for undisclosed reasons.

I hope that what happened is that Plaxico came to a practice with a bottle of Jose Cuervo and the following situation took place:

Tom Coughlin: Burress! What are you doing! Put that Cuervo away and go shag some balls!

Xico: Call me Xico. That’s pronounced S-I-C-O. XICO!

Tom Coughlin: You can’t drink booze at my practices!!

Xico: Like hell I can’t! I Won a Superbowl bich! Kiss My ring! Kiss it!

Tom Coughlin: Burress! PUT THAT BOTTLE AWAY AND GET YOUR SUPERBOWL RING OUT OF MY FACE!

Xico: So that’s how it’s gonna be? All right then. (punches Tom Coughlin right in his 210 year old nose). I JUST WENT STEVE SMITH ON YOUR ASS! THAT SHIT IS FACTORIAL!

(end scene).

If it wasn’t something like that, it probably wasn’t that interesting…

For a star player to do something bad enough to get suspended by his own team when there are reporters or cameras around? It had to be something bad. This is the NFC East. Michael Irvin tried to kill one of his teammates with a pair of scissors and didn’t get in trouble. YOU WIN AT ALL COSTS.

Good thing they gave him a contract extension and pay raise…

Mets On Verge Of Legendary Collapse. Brewers MUST Win The Wild Card.

I hate to root for the epic failure of a team…but…

Couldn’t you tell this was coming?

The Mets have had a rough time all season. Granted they’ve won 90+ games, but it seems like they’ve had as hard a time doing it as possible (Red Sox come in 2nd in that regard this season).

The Phillies somehow climbed into first. Ryan Howard is trying to win an MVP instantly. An the Mets have 5 games left, 2 against the Cubs and 3 against the Marlins.

The Phillies have 4 games left. 1 against the Braves and 3 against the Nationals.

I’m not saying that the Phillies  should easily win the NL East.

No..wiat…yes. Yes I am.

But the Wild Card? That should go to the Brewers. Another team that has fallen apart in the last month only to still be in playoff contention thanks in large part to the horrific Mets and absent NL West.

The best case scenario would be a one game playoff between the two teams.

Last year’s one-game playoff between the Rockies and Padres was as exciting a baseball game as I have ever seen and I had absolutely nothing at stake in it. I know that Major League Baseball, unlike Hockey and Basketball, does not reward teams that are OK with playoff hopes.

But can you imagine if baseball opened things up to 6 teams per division (like the NFL) and gave the teams with the two best records a bye series (like the NFL). The new round 1 could be best of 3. Then best of 5 and best of 7 then World Series.

But you know how I would have them choose the additional two teams from the AL and NL?

A 1 game playoff tree.

Can you imagine seeing the other 10 remaining teams in the AL battle it out in a one game elimination tournament for a playoff spot? It would be epic. It would make every game a game 7. It would make baseball fun.

I know this is absurd, will never happen and “ruins the integrity of a great sport” (I threw in that for all the annoying old people who complain about EVERYTHING that changes in baseball). But I can dream.

Is it just me, or are the Mets 10 times less exciting than the Brewers this season?

Also, does it make sense to anyone that the Dodgers are going to make the playoffs just over .500 while the Mets or Brewers will not when both of them have a better record?

Just imagine a Phillies/Brewers series in Philly…

I’m rooting for Prince Fielder to get called “Cecil” and kill someone.

Matt Millen FIRED.

Your prayers have been answered Gerard!!!

The Lions can only get better from here…right?

Let me be the first to say:

HIRE ISIAH! HIRE ISIAH!