Antonio McDyess Will Re-Sign Wil The Detroit Pistons.

Antonio McDyess has decided to reject offers from 18 teams and go back to the Detroit Pistons.

He’ll be able to start playing with the Pistons again in early December (1 month after the trade occurred).

All though this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone it is still pretty funny in retrospect to recall the day the trade happened and remember the sports media trying to play the whole thing up as if McDyess or the Nuggets ever had any intention of him setting foot on their court.

We remember Mike Breen or someone from ESPN being like “Well, he’s played in Denver before, so a great homecoming for both Chauncey and for Antonio McDyess”.

I understand why buyouts exist. I get why GMs like them. But I really don’t think a player should be able to go back to the team they were traded from in the same season via a buyout and re-signing.

The Celtics did something similar with Gary Payton for Antoine Walker and the Atlanta Hawks a few years back. Sure, it worked out nicely for the C’s, but it sort of makes the trades in the NBA seem kind of like a joke.

Basically, the trade was Billups for Iverson straight up with the condition that the Nuggets buy out McDyess to gain extra cap space for future seasons. In return, the Pistons get an expiring contract and the Nuggets get a guy on a longer contract (who plays defense).

I just don’t think the whole “here-take-this-guy-from-us-pay-him-let-him-walk-and-come-back-to-us-for-less-money” thing is very fair. To me it sort of taints to validity of trades to begin with.

One More Mistake and Pacman Will Be Banned Forever.

It's Pacman, then God.

As we predicted last week, Roger Goodell has officially stated that if Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones has even one more issue while playing in the NFL, he will be banned for life.

I kind of wonder what will happen.

Jones seems like the kind of guy who we had high school Algebra class with. Always distracting everyone and getting yelled at by the teacher yet insanely believing the teacher has a vendetta against him.

Jones’ personality-type leads me to believe he will again do something stupid and think “well this wasn’t a big enough deal to get kicked out of football though” and he will then be dumbfounded at the ‘injustice’ done to him when he is expelled from the NFL.

In other words, he is a shitty player and an even worse human being.

Friday Playlist, Jamal Crawford Traded For Al Harrington, The Hold Steady.

At Chair, we have tried to introduce various regular segments. Some have lasted (Enigma’s Fantasy Football Review For Lovers) some have quickly faded out (An Open Letter).

We’re still learning how to do this whole “writing in English” thing.

But something we do want to introduce is a weekly Friday Playlist.

This week’s playlist features Teenage Fanclub, The Replacements, Pavement and The Hold Steady.

Check it out:

Friday 11/21

Oh, also the Warriors traded Al Harrington for Jamal Crawford. Isiah Thomas is spinning in his grave. Don Nelson wishes he was still playing for the Celtics.

Hal Steinbrenner Wants C.C. Sabathia RIGHT NOW.

Is there any group of people in the World more loathsome than the Steinbrenner family?

Honestly, as a Red Sox fan with common sense, I’ve never really had an extreme hatred for many Yankees players (Roger Clemens aside). I always liked Joe Torre, I never understood how Derek Jeter can run the bases with all of the Sports Media living in his jock strap but I never really bothered hating him, A-Rod I almost feel bad for in a way and he’s sort of just a clown, Always respected Giambi…etc.

But the fucking Steinbrenners? Even Yankees fans know that those people are the scum of the Earth. They embody everything people hate about rich people. They are greedy, they’re whiney, they complain about every little fucking thing to the media. They just fucking suck.

Hal Steinbrenner and Hank Steinbrenner are no different.

Said Hal about C.C. Sabathia:

“We’ve made him an offer. It’s not going to be there forever,”

Really? That sounds pretty familiar. I seem to recall the Yankees revoking their offer to A-Rod last season as well…

He might as well have said:

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It’s my bar of chocolate
Give it to me Now!

Just look at that picture of him up there. Does that not scream douche bag? He looks like he’s tired from having to constantly yell “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?!” at everyone he encounters.

“You call this a limo? THIS HAS FUCKING LEATHER SEATING! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?!? No Steinbrenner rides in leather FUCKING seating you dumb fucking twerp. I’ve taken shits that are worth more than you! I want a limo with DIAMOND seating. That’s right. I WANT TO FUCKING SIT IN A LIMO MADE OF DIAMONDS! What do you mean you can’tmake that happen? Listen Juan, get me that fucking limo or you’ll be back in- Oh your name isn’t Juan? HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT A STEINBRENNER YOU FUCKING SHIT-STAIN! Do you know who I AM? HAL FUCKING STEINBRENNER THAT’S WHO! I DON’T LEARN THE NAMES OF stupid fucking PEASANTS! I AM ROYALTY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Gilbert Arenas Thinks the Wizards Should Tank It. It’s a Rebuilding Season.

Remember when Gilbert Arenas signed that absurd $111 million contract last Summer?

What’s he done since then?

Talk.

Gilbert Arenas has probably talked more than he’s played the last 2 seasons. He played 13 games in 07-08 and is not slated to be back from yet another knee surgery until January. Why on Earth would any GM spend $111 million on a guy who has required 3 knee surgeries over the course of his career? Doesn’t that signing just scream Isiah Thomas to you? Even if Arenas is healthy, they could have given him a short term mid-level deal. Or at least that would have made sense.

The Wizards are 1-9 and look awful this season and this is what Gilbert Arenas had to say:

“I don’t want to see them struggle, but if this is one of those years where we don’t make the playoffs or we finish in last place … that’s what happened to San Antonio and that’s how they got Tim Duncan and look at them now … and that’s for the better.”

If it was February and the Wizards were 7-36 or something, fine. Maybe it is for the better.

But in November? The first month of the season Gilbert? Really?

The Wizards should have been really good consistently last season. They should be a fun team to watch. And somehow they are a giant pile of crap.

Tony Romo Takes A Homeless Man To See “Role Models”.

We heard about this yesterday but hate to write anything prematurely (the Giants are going to win another Superbowl).

Last weekend Tony Romo took a homeless man who goes by the name ‘Doc’ to see “Role Models” at a Cinemark Theater in Dallas.

The story goes, Romo spotted him outside the theater trying to get some change and offered to take him to see the movie. They went into the theater and Doc was a little embarrassed so he sat a few seats away from Romo:

Romo, who confirmed the story but didn’t want to elaborate, waved Doc over to sit by him and his friend. Doc sheepishly mentioned that he hadn’t showered in a few days.

“Don’t worry about that,” Romo said. “I’m used to locker rooms.”

Nothing about any of this makes much sense.

The best I can figure is that Tony Romo is either some kind of religious guru, a really nice charitable guy or a little crazy.

There were reports of him helping a couple change a tire earlier this season.

It is a nice story.

But the Cowboys still suck.

Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones Given A 27th Chance In The NFL.

Pacman Jones has been reinstated by Roger Goodell.

The Cowboys will be able to activate Jones for thier December 7th game.

I am of the firm belief that Roger Goodell only reinstated Jones this time so that if he fucks up again (which there is probably a 69% chance he will) Goodell can say “Three strikes you’re out motherfucker! Pack your bags! You goin’ to Canada!”.

If Roger Goodell actually spoke like that, his press conferences would be far more interesting.

I have always been of the opinion that people deserve second chances. Usually. But how many chances can someone actually be given before the chance giver just looks like a huge moron?

This many.

Roger Goodell is all too happy to allow players to be fined for “dirty” hits and the like, but this move makes it seem like, when you come right down to it, he’s pretty much a lot of talk.

I guess that’s better than Paul Tagliabue who was a lot of…nothing.

And still, when you put it into perspective, there is no way Goodell isn’tthe best commissioner of the 4 major sports. It isn’t even close.

In spite of some overly sensitive fines that get tossed around, I appreciate Goodell’s sheriff-like attitude when it comes to guys shooting people and (allegedly) committing felonies. If Goodell would just lay off on the stupid fines, I would have no issue with him at all.

Bud Selig is just completely moronic and incompetent in every way. But David Stern is just oversensitive to everything. His “rules” are never consistent and he’s just an old man living in a young man’s World.

Roger Goodell needs to:

1. Lay down ultra specific rules as to what constitutes a dirty hit and what can be fined.
2. Write specific rules by which players can be suspended or expelled from the NFL.

I think too much of his decision making is done on a case-by-case basis and clearly that isn’t working. A firm set of rules encompassing everything applied with a small measure of case-by-case decision making would go a long way towards improving things.

Even if that means writing a player conduct rule book that says things like:

Strip Clubs -

Any player allegedly involved in a strip club altercation will receive a minimum 4 game suspension.

Shootings -

Any player who allegedly discharges a firearm in public will receive a minimum 6 game suspension.

Underage Parties –

Any player allegedly involved in “partying” with underage males or females will receive a minimum 3 game suspension.

I would gladly write up this rule book for you Roger. Just buy me a Sooloos and I will get into detail like you wouldn’t believe.

Oh man do I want a Sooloos…

Bengals Deactivate Chad Ocho Cinco (Johnson) For Tonight’s Game Against Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Bengals won’t have Chad Johnson when they take on the Steelers tonight.

Call your bookie. There’s no way the Bengals will beat the Steelers now!

I don’t have the slightest idea why Chad Johnson’s career has hit the shitter as quickly or as hard as it has. During the off-season he admitted he hates playing for the Orange and Black, he probably thinks Marvin Lewis is stupid, he isn’t down with wasting the best years of his life stuck in futility and he probably thinks Skyline serves nothing but disgusting brown sauce masquerading as chili.

Even with all of those issues, I still assumed that when he played this season, he’d still be the same old 80-100 catches, 1,000+ yards 7 or 8 TDS receiver he’s always been.

Not so.

Chad Johnson is falling fast and because his numbers have dipped so dramatically (his TD and yardage numbers) and so inexplicably, it seems like all he is doing is driving down his value.

Maybe this season is a ploy by him to make it so the Bengals have to trade him.

But Johnson is no Stephon Marbury. I don’t think he’s a locker room pariah. I’ve never been in the Bengals locker room, but I’ve been told by a reliable source that Johnson is one of the more friendly faces of the organization and routinely chats it up with trainers and interns and the like (male interns. I said he is NOT like Stephon Marbury).

I sympathize with his plight. I wouldn’t want to play for the Bengals.

Playing for the Bengals right now would be sort of like working in marketing for Linens & Things. Clearly that store has seen better days, they’re laying people off left and right and just letting people walk out on them, cutting costs, closing stores but because you are a young hot shot in marketing, they decide that they need you around. To continue to work your ass off. Even though the company’s best-case scenario is being bought out and not going bankrupt outright.

Maybe it’s not like that exactly…

But it’s close.

The Bengals have not disclosed what rule Ocho Cinco broke or why he was deactivated.

But in an awesome twist of fate, Chris Henry is starting in his place. Parents of high school kids in Allegheny County should be on Red Alert.

Mike Mussina Retires. Brett Favre Talks Retirement. Boston Bruins Look Good. Someone Please Buy Me A Sooloos.

We aren’t gonna write about stats.

Mike Mussina was pretty damn awesome for most of his career and will probably be a Hall Of Famer within the next decade.

I’d like to personally thank him for all those times he sucked against the Red Sox.

But Mostly, I just hope that this is a Barry Sanders-type retirement and not a Brett Favre-type retirement.

Mussina, you had a good career.

Oh and I guess this means Cashman should probably try to work out a deal for Aaron Heilman.

 

Speaking of Favre, it’s what now, week 12? That must mean it is time for the retirement questions to begin!

Hooray!

Is there anything less interesting than an old guy with a gray beard answering the same goddamn question 55 times over the course of 2 months for 5 years consecutively?

No? There isn’t?

All of the Favre retirement talk sort of overshadows the fact that he can still play at a high level.

I for one think that Brett should just keep playing until he’s too concussed or unable to move his limbs. And he should also express as much the next time Peter Fucking King or whoever else asks him.

And by the way, attributing the Jets success this season to Brett Favre would be like attributing the Patriots relative success to Matt Cassel. The Jets slowly built up a roster of talented players both ont he offensive and defensive side (especially the last off-season). It also doesn’t hurt that Eric Mangini is the only former Patriots assistant to Belichick that is able to coach his way out of a paper bag (I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU ROMEO CERNELL and CHARLIE WEISS). Josh McDaniels should take notice.

 

In Boston right now, opinions on the Bruins are like Sooloos, pretty much nobody has one. But goddamn if I wouldn’t love to have one (and we at Chair would love to test one out and review it for our office…please?).

I know they’re in first. I’ve watched bits and pieces of about 9 games. I saw them lose a shootout. I’d say I probably follow them more closely than 71% of Boston.

Last season, my roommate Mike (who is a huge fan) watched every game, and as a result, I too, watched at least part of nearly every game. And I gotta say, in spite of all of the horrible shortcomings of the NHL (awful commissioner, too many teams, not enough fans…etc.) I was sucked in quite nicely last season. I watched very playoff game and even though it just seemed like the Bruins had no chance in hell to do anything in 07-08 (not enough scorers, shitty on Power Plays…etc.) they were always entertaining and sometimes surprising.

Even though the Bruins couldn’t pull off a stunner against the Habs, they seemed like a team that might be on the verge of a good season.

And so far, it has all the makings of a good season.

Coco Crisp Traded For Ramon Ramirez.

The Coco Crisp era in Boston has reportedly come to a close.

Wednesday morning, the Red Sox traded Coco Crisp to the Kansas City Royals in exchange for 26 year old reliever Ramon Ramirez.

Ramirez was 3-2 last year in 71 appearances. He had a very good 2.64 ERA and 1.228 WHIP.

The move likely signals two things:

1. The Red Sox want Jacoby Ellsbury to be their full time every day center fielder.
2. Mike Timlin should be leaving or Justin Masterson will become a starter.

All though the Boston bullpen struggled at times last season, the combination of Papelbon, Masterson, Okajima and Manny Delcarmen served them well for the most part.

Because of the already robust and youthful bullpen in Boston, there is reason to believe that the Red Sox feel Ramirez has great potential to mature into a stopper.

Adding another young arm to a talented bullpen also leads one to believe that this could very well signal the end of Mike Timlin’s tenure in Boston.

Timlin is 42 and in 2008, pitched as if he was 76.

Coco Crisp turned 29 this month and has posted a career .280 batting average while consistently being one of the best defensive outfielders in the AL.

When Crisp was signed by the Red Sox to replace Johnny Damon, you got the feeling it might have been a stop-gap solution.

Crisp was young and easily the best available center-fielder that off-season but his offensive production and utility-like characteristics always made me believe he was better suited to play for a National League team (or one of the National League-esq. teams in the AL).

Crisp is going into his 8th season in the majors. He spent his first four in Cleveland and his last 3 in Boston. He won a World Series with the Red Sox in 2007.