Mike Mussina Retires. Brett Favre Talks Retirement. Boston Bruins Look Good. Someone Please Buy Me A Sooloos.

November 20, 2008

We aren’t gonna write about stats.

Mike Mussina was pretty damn awesome for most of his career and will probably be a Hall Of Famer within the next decade.

I’d like to personally thank him for all those times he sucked against the Red Sox.

But Mostly, I just hope that this is a Barry Sanders-type retirement and not a Brett Favre-type retirement.

Mussina, you had a good career.

Oh and I guess this means Cashman should probably try to work out a deal for Aaron Heilman.

 

Speaking of Favre, it’s what now, week 12? That must mean it is time for the retirement questions to begin!

Hooray!

Is there anything less interesting than an old guy with a gray beard answering the same goddamn question 55 times over the course of 2 months for 5 years consecutively?

No? There isn’t?

All of the Favre retirement talk sort of overshadows the fact that he can still play at a high level.

I for one think that Brett should just keep playing until he’s too concussed or unable to move his limbs. And he should also express as much the next time Peter Fucking King or whoever else asks him.

And by the way, attributing the Jets success this season to Brett Favre would be like attributing the Patriots relative success to Matt Cassel. The Jets slowly built up a roster of talented players both ont he offensive and defensive side (especially the last off-season). It also doesn’t hurt that Eric Mangini is the only former Patriots assistant to Belichick that is able to coach his way out of a paper bag (I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU ROMEO CERNELL and CHARLIE WEISS). Josh McDaniels should take notice.

 

In Boston right now, opinions on the Bruins are like Sooloos, pretty much nobody has one. But goddamn if I wouldn’t love to have one (and we at Chair would love to test one out and review it for our office…please?).

I know they’re in first. I’ve watched bits and pieces of about 9 games. I saw them lose a shootout. I’d say I probably follow them more closely than 71% of Boston.

Last season, my roommate Mike (who is a huge fan) watched every game, and as a result, I too, watched at least part of nearly every game. And I gotta say, in spite of all of the horrible shortcomings of the NHL (awful commissioner, too many teams, not enough fans…etc.) I was sucked in quite nicely last season. I watched very playoff game and even though it just seemed like the Bruins had no chance in hell to do anything in 07-08 (not enough scorers, shitty on Power Plays…etc.) they were always entertaining and sometimes surprising.

Even though the Bruins couldn’t pull off a stunner against the Habs, they seemed like a team that might be on the verge of a good season.

And so far, it has all the makings of a good season.


The Red Sox To Break The Cleveland Indians’ Consecutive Sellout Streak Tonight. Try to Put The Kids To Bed.

September 8, 2008

See what happens when you remove the Devil from your life and follow the path of rugged-domed-senior-citizens-wearing-Haiwaiin-shirt-glory?

The Tampa Bay Rays have looked a lot like the Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays I know and love from seasons past. They just got swept by the Blue Jays. THE BLUE JAYS! Roy Halladay aside (I would give him the Cy Young over Cliff Lee any day of the week) they are not a very good team.

Tonight I get to attend the record setting attendance game. It will be my first trip to Fenway since John Lester’s no-hitter. My 3rd overall game this season. The first game I went to was the Detroit Tigers’ first win of the season (over John Lester). The Second was the no hitter (Lester). So naturally, tonight’s starter will be none other than John Lester.

That always seems to happen. I see the same starter 4 times in one season (it isn’t like I have season tickets or anything). Two years ago I saw Wakefield 4 out of 5 times.

At least this year it’s Lester.

The Red Sox finally have Beckett back in the rotation, Lowell is healthy, Kevin Youkilis is back, JD Drew and David Aardsma are coming back. It looks like things are coming together (at just the right time).

The Rays have started to sink. The Twins and White Sox are killing themselves (thanks for the help Carlos Quentin!) and even the Angels do not look nearly as good as they did 6 weeks ago.

I was low on the Red Sox in June and July and even early August.

But they have hooked me in.

I feel like if they play the way they have the last few weeks, they have some legs. Maybe they can swing the momentum and parlay it into a Divisional Victory and a serious shot at NOT getting bounced immediately in the Playoffs (as I was so sure they would 6 weeks ago).

And I swear that my new found hope for the Red Sox is in no way related to my acceptance of the Patriots impending doom (all though, if Vince Wilfork popped Brett Favre’s ACL to take those ridiculous Jets fans down a notch, I wouldn’t mind…not that Wilfork would do that or anything…just saying…as much as I hate the Steelers and Chargers and Colts and Cowboys, I would not say ‘that’s what you deserve (homophobic slur here)!!!’ if any of their star players went down with a season ending injury).

Also, Dustin Pedroia needs to go 4-4 tonight. Maybe 5-5 or 6-6. Pick it up Dusty.

 


2008 NFL Preview: NFC North

August 26, 2008

Detroit Lions

I mentioned earlier how little the NFL Preseason usually means.

I’m sure Matt Millen, Jon Kitna, Calvin Johnson, Jerry Sloan and the rest of the regulars at indeedindeed are hoping that in the case of the Lions, it means that they actually do have the best 1st, 2nd and 3rd string players in the league.

The Lions are 3-0 in preseason so far. I honestly don’t remember the last time the Lions started the regular season 3-0. They were 0-3 in 2002. I think they were like 0-6 in 2006…

On offense, the Lions haven’t really added anything noticeable for 2008. They still have the same team there. The same great receiving group (Calvin Johnson [above] will be even better this year, Roy Williams will be Roy Williams again and Shaun McDonald will continue to be a quality #3 option).

The biggest addition (really the only major addition) on offense was Kevin Smith. Right now onthe depthchart, the Lions have Tatum Bell officially listed as the starter, but Kevin Smith is supposed to be one of the most high impact rookies in the NFL this season according to USA Today. I’m never sold on a rookie half back being the savior of a one dimensional offense. Too much can go wrong.

There is the always exciting Jon Kitna returning to the fold.

One time I wrote that Jon Kitna is a horrible excuse for a quarterback. That isn’t exactly true…but he also isn’t someone you want to carry a young and talented offense.

He is 35. He has played 11 seasons in the NFL. Through 11 seasons, he has thrown 147 TDs. That isn’t bad when you consider he was a backup for several of those seasons. Unfortunately for Kitna he has also thrown 146 INTs in those 11 seasons. Yikes. Guy has played 11 years in the NFL and has a +1 TD/INT ratio. Clearly he is Rex Grossman’s idol.

Kitna has passed for over 26,000 yards in his career, notching over 4,000 yards per season in 2006 and 2007. That is impressive for someone who is old. But this is a result of the Mike Martz era. Not a result of Kitna being a rogue leader who does whatever he can to make things happen.

The thing is, Kitna isn’t a horrible quarterback. In spite of the +1 career ratio andthe age, he is still probably around 16th or so in the league. Maybe even higher. Because a) at this point in history no one can throw a football the right way anymore, b) young guys get so little time to prove themselves that old guys (Todd Collins, Kurt Warner, Jon Kitna) find themselves not only employed, but also decent options simply due to their seasons of experience and ability to handle the pressure and c) the quality of quarterbacks overall seems to have fallen off the charts in the last 7 years or so. Maybe it is due to the expansion of the league. Too many teams and not enough talent. Maybe it is defenses getting better…

When I was younger the NFL had Joe Montana, Dan Marino, Troy Aikman, Jim Kelly, Warren Moon…etc. There seemed to be a decent to great QB on almost every team. Now it is laughable who most teams trot out at starting QB.

Anyway, in this NFL, Kitna is clearly a valuable starter.

But without improvements, the Lions will have the same exact offensive problems they had in 2007.

On defense, the Lions did not improve their starting defensive line. They still seem horrible unbalanced (a decent right side with Cory Redding and Dewayne White, both young and quick and a HORRIBLE left side Chartric Darby and Jared DeVries).

Their linebackers are solid. Ernie Sims and Paris Lenon are both good linebackers and Alex Lewis is serviceable. What I question is why they don’t run a 3-4 and plug in a rotation of the younger linebackers on the bench. Chartric Darby doesn’t impress me at all and I think the Lions might be stronger on defense if they used him as someone the 2 good D line could get rotated out for. Anthony Cannon and Buster Davis would probably add more to the pass rush (and coverage) than Darby if they used a 3-4 instead of a 4-3.

The Lions did add Brian Kelly to their corners. He should be all right in spite of his 32 years. Dwight Smith is a solid DB that they brought in from Minnesota. Gerald Alexander had a nice rookie season last year and Leigh Bodden was another great addition from Cleveland.

Clearly the Lions felt that their greatest weakness last season was their coverage. I respectfully disagree (a running game would have helped, as would a better D line). However, I said in my AFC East column that there are few teams with a really good secondary, barring health concerns, the Lions probably have one of the best secondaries (on paper) in the league in 2008.

Of course a secondary is only as good as the pass rush in front of it….where they need a little work…still…

If the Lions try to be slightly more balanced on offense and they do end up mixing things up with the linebackers and occasionally using a 3-4 (WHICH SUITS THEM FAR BETTER) they could be a decent team. That’s a lot of ifs. And those ‘ifs’ are directly related to the coaching. The coaching being where most of my concerns are.

If the secondary is as good as advertised and if the Lions don’t have the worst coaching in the NFL and use a balanced offense (at least a SLIGHTLY balanced offense) they might not be half bad in kind of a weak division.

My definitive prediction is a 9-7 record for the Lions in 2008.

Minnesota Vikings

Does Adrian peterson make anyone else nervous?

He reminds me of Bo Jackson sort of.

To me, Bo Jackson was like Icarus, he was so great that he flew too close to the sun. I fear Adrian Peterson will share his fate.

When Peterson hurt is knee last season I was really worried that it was going to be this horrible career-ending tradgedy. I’m not kidding. He’s so talented that I feel like I wouldn’t be surprised at all if something horrific happened to him, if that makes sense.

The Vikings have the honor of having one of the best offensive linemen in the NFL on their team in Steve Hutchinson. The rest of the O-line is decent to pretty good.

Chester Taylor is the other half back and Taylor is nothing to scoff at either (something tells me Taylor will get a big payday as a starter somewhere when his contract is up).

But the receivers? Scoff away.

They have Bernard Berrianwho was never all that great with Chicago (and you can make the argument that this was a result of having shitty QBs all the time, more on this later) but he is young and has statistically improved each season, Sidney Rice who is only 21 and still unproven, Robert Ferguson (who has never been all that great) and Bobby Wade who is decent but not great as a #4.

That is not exactly a stellar receiving crew, but you get the feeling that they would be fine with an ok quarterback. I feel that someone like Marc Bulger would work wonders with these guys. Obviously Peyton Manning or Tom Brady would make them look like Hall of Famers and someone like Jon Kitna would be all right with that crew a solid O-line and a great running back….

Unfortunately for the Vikings (and their fans) they have Tarvaris Jackson as their starting quarterback.

Tarvaris Jackson is still a work in progress. The thing is, if he doesn’t get better by about week 9 this season, The Vikings will abandon all hope on him and let Gus Frerotte take the reins.

I can’t believe Gus Frerotte is still playing. Oh, and by the way Jon Kitna, Frerotte has played 14 seasons, he has a +11 TD to INT ratio!

The Vikings have a solid secondary as well. With youngster Cedric Griffin, new addition Madieu Williams, Antoine Winfield and and older but still decent Darren Sharper rounding things out.

The Vikings are another team that primarily uses a 4-3 on defense and has sort of a mixed bag on the defensive line. No real superstars but no complete scrubs either.

Their linebackers are something to behold though. Chad Greenway had a great rookie season and if he continues on the same path he will be quite a linebacker. E.J. Hendersonis great and Ben Leber is definitely solid as well.

The Vikings did a nice job adding to their secondary. This could be a defense that causes some serious issues.

The question is, can they develop a passing game?

I understand and agree that Adrian Peterson is almost unstoppable. But won’t defenses just starting putting 7-8 guys in the box on every down? If the Vikings can’t throw the ball how are they going to get on the board? Peterson may be unstoppable, but he can’t get 40 carries a game every game.

if this team had even a decent quarterback (someone who is like the 20th to 15th best in the league) they would be really really really good. Like NFC Championship without batting an eye good.

But they don’t…so…

My definitive prediction is a 10-6 record for the Vikings in 2008.

Green Bay Packers

How much mercy do I show a fan-base that cares about one indecisive star player than an organization?

NO MERCY.

What Green Bay Packers fans who have sided with Brett Favre (the ones that demanded that jets games be shown in Green Bay) have done is that they have sided with Manny Ramirez.

Remember when I wrote about how Manny Ramirez had to be traded for the good of the Red Sox? I meant it.

I wish Manny no particular harm with the Dodgers, but the Red Sox were my team long before Manny signed with them and will be long after he is retired. A true Packers fan would be outraged that Favre had the audacity to drone on and on in his press conference about how things had changed and how he wasn’t mentally preparing himself 100% anymore AND THEN had the audacity to COME BACK TO THE LEAGUE.

Do you want a guy who is half-assing it on your team?

All Packers ownership and management issues aside (which it sounds like there are plenty of), Favre was holding them hostage. He demanded a trade. He’s just selfish.

GET OVER IT GREEN BAY. He was a great player for you. Fine. Retire his number when he retires. Tell your grand-kids how great he was then. But right now, he is the enemy. And switching allegiance to another team for a player is the second most bandwagon move you could pull.

Now that I have that off my chest, this Packers offense is basically the same except with a big downgrade at QB in Aaron Rogers.

Rogers will not be that good (because he needs some playing time to develop) but the Packers still have a really great receiving group with Greg Jennings, Donald Driver and James Jones and Donald Lee at TE and behind the quality O-line, Ryan Grant emerged as a legitimate starting half back last season.

If Aaron Rogers can learn the offense and be a game manager/not make horrible decisions, the Packers should be all right to score points.

The defense is riddled with injuries right now. Whether they carry over into the season or not is anybody’s guess.

Ryan Pickett is a notable addition on the defensive line (even though he is hurt now and has a history of injuries). The rest of the d-line is unchanged.

The Packers still have a great linebacker group (unchanged from 2007) featuring Nick Barnett and AJ Hawk.

The Secondary is still good as well.

There have not been a whole lot of changes to the Green Bay roster. Just one big one.

Andthey didn’t win it all with Favre, so I’m inclined to believe they cannot win it all withthe same team this year with an unproven quarterback.

Don’t be surprised if the Packers start the 2008 season 0-7 (it would only take a Falcons win over them as a stretch…the rest are quality opponents). Also, unlike the Jets who SUCKED in 2007, the Packers have the pleasure of having a pretty difficult schedule in 2008 due to their 2007 success.

My definitive prediction is a 4-12 record for the Packers in 2008.

You know how you can tell when your offense is doomed?

When you have a quarterback controversy between one guy who has been on yoru team as an on and off starter due to baffling inconsistency and another guy who indirectly replaced the first guy 3 years ago but was so inconsistent that you went back to the first guy andhe led you to a Superbowl where he folded like a rusty lawn chair so the next year you went back to the second at late in the season.

Rex Grossman (sexy Rexy) and Kyle Orton (Jack Daniels) are those two guys.

Because the NFL does not award points to teams for players having sick moustaches, Kyle Orton is in trouble.

But there is good news Bears fans, the Bears made two major additions to the receivers this year.

That’s right! Management brought back Marty Booker as your number 1 option! yeah, the same Marty Booker that had 100 catches on your team in 2001. Him! He’s back! And he’s only 32 and coming off four consecutive seasons of 55 receptions and 700 yards or less! Yeah. He’s still just as good as he was in 2001. His best days are not behind him at all!!!

But Marty Booker isn’t the only new target for Sexy Rexy and Jack Daniels to throw INTs past, oh no, the Bears also brought in Brandon Lloyd! Yeah, the same Brandon Lloyd who has always been sort of an underachiever. That one.

At least at running back the Bears have added Matt Forte, who might turn into a nice option. They also have Adrian Peterson. No, not that Adrian Peterson. The other one. The one who doesn’t look like a young legend.

I’m not sold on this offense.

I even hate Robbie Gould. Robbie Gould cost me $250 in 2006. I will never forgive him. JUST PUT IT THROUGH THE UPRIGHTS YOU JACKASS!!!

On the plus side, the Bears defense is still the Bears defense. Lance Briggs and Brian Urlacher will still make opposing quarterbacks hate their lives. So…there is that.

But this is a one-sided football team with two guys competing for the quarterback job. And let me assure you, the competition will last all season.

If Orton and/or Grossman were just sub-par QBs who threw the ball away under pressure and didn’t HELP the other team, they would be fine. The Bears would win some games, the defense will fill in the gaping offensive hole. Intentional.

But I sincerely believe that both Orton and Grossman do more to hurt the Bears than help them. They would almost be better off just putting Devin Hester in at quarterback and running shitty dump pass plays, options and laterals all season. Actually, I think they would be much better off if they did that. As stupid as it would be…

My definitive prediction is a 6-10 record for the Bears in 2008.


2008 NFL Preview: AFC East

August 25, 2008

New York Jets

You know, looking over the offensive side of the 2008 New York Jets, it seems hard to say they will be bad. Maybe they won’t be great, but their offense seems decent.

The Jets spent some money in the off season improving their offensive line. D’Brichashaw Ferguson (on the shortlist fo best name in the NFL) is young and strong. Alan Faneca has quite a reputation. Damien Woody was a quality O-line guy for the Patriots years ago. Nick Mangold is a tough Center. I don’t see any real holes there.

Obviously Brett Favre was a big addition to a team without a leader.

And to be honest, more than not having a quarterback that has been consistent for the last few years, I truly believe one of the Jets main problems is that they have been a team without a leader.

Maybe Curtis Martin was the leader in years past. But one thing always struck me about Chad Pennington: he didn’t seem like leader material.

I have never been in a huddle with Pennington, but I do think that, for one, when a player is injured frequently, it definitely takes some of the leadership luster off of them for the simple fact that they are not in it in the same way with the rest of the guys. But the thing that stands out to me about Pennington, is that he never seemed like a cowboy.

If there is one trait that all great quarterbacks seem to possess, and this is something that is true across all races, ages and athletic abilities, it is that a great quarterback is a great leader and is John Wayne (from his War movies) mixed with John Wayne (from his Western movies). A great quarterback needs a little arrogance. They need to be unafraid and confident in their team. Joe Namath had it. Joe Montana had it.  John Elway had it. Brett Favre has it. Tom Brady has it. Peyton Manning has it. Donovan McNabb had it (when he was younger/before all the injuries).

Chad Pennington? That guy always looked scared to me.

Did John Wayne ever look scared to you?

So Brett Favre is obviously a step up here.

But the thing that MUST carry the Jets are the wide receivers. And to be honest, this is where the holes start to appear.

Jericho Cotchery could be the most underrated wide receiver in the NFL (or in your fantasy league). He’s 6′0″, he’s athletic, he’s young and he has never had a good quarterback throwing to him before, yet has still somehow managed 2,000 yards receiving over the last two seasons. Ignore his bad 8 TDs over the same span. No one was throwing touchdowns in New York. Cotchery should be a great option for the Jets.

Laveranues Coles has had similar output to Cotchery over a longer amount of time. The only concern I have with Coles is that he is a little older (30) and a little undersized (not that this has hurt him in seasons past, but Troy Brown could tell you that when you are an undersized wide-out, the older you get, the harder it becomes to get past the younger defensive backs around you and make up for your lack of stature with your agility and speed. Still, Coles is a good #1 option.

Beyond those two however, the Jets are a little unproven. Who knows, maybe Brad Smith (who is the right size [6'2" 210 lbs] to be a solid wide-out) will blossom this year, but I am not overwhelmed beyond Cotchery and Coles.

Chris Baker and Bubba Franks might provide Favre with the extra targets he’ll need at Tight End.

The biggest issue with the Jets is their running game.

Thomas Jones, Leon Washington, Musa Smith, Jesse Chatman. That sounds like a list of undrafted free agents in your Fantasy League that you are forced to choose between around week 6 when two of your good running backs are hurt. You don’t like the way any of them look, but you need to use one of them.

The plus side for the Jets is the fantastic offensive line. Maybe they will platoon the running backs, use all four of them and figure it out as they go. Or maybe Thomas Jones will develop into a legitimate #1 back. We’ll have to see.

The thing is, if the Jets DID have someone like Steven Jackson or Marshawn Lynch or even Edgerrin James in the backfield, they would look like a legitimate Superbowl threat on offense (on paper).

You’ll notice that I spent a lot of time talking about the Jets offense. That is because I don’t have much to say about the defense. On paper, it doesn’t look like a very formidable squad. Not a lot of ultra recognizable names here. Obviously Vernon Gholston will be exciting (seeing how he turns out, anyway), but I don’t think this Jets defense is going to be better than run-of-the-mill. They might surprise and finish as like the 12th best defense. I expect them to be around 18 or so and as a result they will constantly end up putting pressure on the offense to score (which they should not have as much trouble doing).

A great benefit of being bad last season is a quasi-cakewalk schedule in 2008. They only have about 6 tough match ups. If the Bills come out with a vengeance, the Jets might have some trouble though.

And as much as I want to see Brett Favre embarrassed and have his legacy squandered, as much as I hate the Jets…

My definitive prediction is a 10-6 record for the Jets in 2008.

Buffalo Bills

When I look at the Buffalo Bills offense in 2008, it doesn’t look like they have made many upgrades.

They are still a little shaky beyond Lee Evans at Wide Receiver. I am not floored by Roscoe Parrish or Josh Reed. In retrospect, this is a team that probably would have benefitted from signing SOMEONE else at WR in the off season.

Marshawn Lynch was marvelous last year. He made Willis McGahee look like the most replaceable running back ever.

The offensive line is decent.

The biggest question mark is Quarterback. And that is NOT a place to have your biggest question mark.

In theory, the Bills are in a great situation. After all, JP Losman is only one year removed from 3,000 yards and 19 TDs. Losman was everything you could hope for in 2006. Not great. Not really awe inspiring. A game manager. Maybe with some potential for growth.

Then last year happened.

Injuries forced a younger QB (not that Losman is an old man at 27), Trent Edwards to emerge. And Edwards showed flashes of quality for a younger QB. Or at least, he gave the Bills the same results they got from the more experienced Losman and made them question whether they should switch to Edwards to develop him full time or not.

This is kind of a shitty quandaryfor a few reasons. Yes, there are MORE uninspired starting QB struggles in the NFL (Chicago Bears, anyone?), but by yanking both of these guys around, neither of them gets to show what they can do. I mean, guys need a full season to prove themselves. No one can show how talented they are in 8 games when they constantly fear getting yanked after every INT.

But on the same token, I think Losman AND Edwards both have more upside than a few starting quarterbacks in the league.

Either way, a QB rating around 74.0 isn’t going to cut it as a starter. I hope both of them improve this year.

On defense, the Bills improved their D-line by adding Marcus Stroud from Jacksonville. Stroud and Schobel will be a formidable combination for a lot of offensive lines to block. Kyle Williams and Chris Kelsay are both solid and round out the defensive line.

The Bills also added Kawika Mitchell from the Giants. Mitchell actually had a down season last year and if he can somehow regain his 2006 form (104 tackles) he should be a great addition. Paul Posluszny was having an incredible rookie season through 3 games last year (26 tackles, 17 of them solo)…incredible is an understatement actually, the guy was unreal before getting injured for the season. Posluszny could be a defensive emperor for years to come at linebacker. Angelo Crowell is also a hard worker who rounds out the starting linebackers.

The Bills secondary doesn’t look amazing on paper, but few NFL teams do have a great secondary.

On paper the Bills will be amazing at the pass rush. They are not going to be easy for any offensive line to shut down. The issue is, if the secondary is sub-par, when the Bills blitz, if the offense picks it up, there could be a lot of passing touchdowns thrown against them. I don’t think teams without feature running backs stand much of chance of getting beyond 70 yards on the ground against this front 7.

So the biggest question remains…who is going to lead this team? And will Losman OR Edwards do a good job at QB?

So much on offense could go either way…The Bills could be one of those teams that looks great and wins a game 17-3 one week and then loses a game 14-3 the next. I could easily see that happening.

My definitive prediction is an 8-8 record for the Bills in 2008.

Miami Dolphins

It’s hard to say a lot about the Dolphins.

Last year they were painful to watch. 1-15 painful. Nearly 0-16 painful. Nearly.

That won’t happen this year. Bill Parcells has added Jake Long who will surely fill in a huge hole on the offensive line.

Ronnie Brown is expected to be healthy. As is Ricky Williams (though I never count on him for anything). And Ronnie Brown, just so you remember, is probably one of the top 5 running backs in the NFL. Behind Peterson, Tomlinson, maybe Steven Jackson, maybe Larry Johnson (both have fallen from grace). This is a league without a lot of premier running backs and Ronnie Brown over the course of his short career, has proven that he can run and catch and do a lot without a lot blocking (of course this has also led to some injuries…).

At Wide Receiver, the Dolphins made the very very very smart addition of Ernest Wilford. Wilford is huge (6′4″ 223 lbs.) and young and was very effective in Jacksonville (where they constantly used 4 tall WRs interchangeably) and should easily be Chad Pennington’s favorite target in Miami. Ted Ginn Jr. I just don’t get. he might develop into a Laveranues Coles type receiver (Coles may be the #1 on the Jets, but he is no alpha dog among top NFL receivers. he’ll never be in the T.O., Randy Moss, Chad Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald group). He’s but I always thought that he was overrated in college and over-drafted by the Dolphins. Maybe he’ll be serviceable. Beyond those two is a lot of young and undeveloped targets.

At quarterback the Dolphins have Chad Pennington.

Here’s the thing about Pennington, he just got cut for Brett Favre. After years of playing hard for the Jets, leading them to the playoffs, and generally being a solid game manager and sometimes all right quarterback. This is his chance to have a chip on his shoulder, go out there and lead the Dolphins to a surprisingly successful campaign.

If Pennington is healthy and plays with a chip on his shoulder, who knows. Maybe he’ll throw 20 TDs and 9 INTs for like 3,000 yards and look great again. If he can play gutsy football on a shaky team, I will take back all of the bad things I have said about him.

Realistically, I see no way this team can possibly finish with a winning record. It just isn’t in the cards. They need another solid wide receiver on offense and some improvements to the defensive line and secondary on defense.

But…

They can be a team that upsets a good team on occasion and wins a couple of monumental games for the franchise. This season should be a turning point for them. If they finish 7-9 it will be an amazing rebound after last year. But you get the sense that even finishing 5-11 would be an accomplishment.

On defense I don’t see too much promise. Joey Porter will probably be healthy. Akin Ayodele was a nice addition to the Linebackers as well. But by and large, this Dolphins defense seems young and unproven in some places and experienced yet underwhelming in others.

This is a rebuilding year. 2009 will also probably be a rebuilding year. But I do expect progress each season. I think they will be very competitive again by 2010 (if all goes according to plan).  

The good thing is, when a team hits rock bottom, they get to overhaul and improve from the ground up. Some teams (Detroit Lions) stay decent enough to never get a great draft pick for years but never get good enough to go to the Superbowl. Sorry Dolphins fans, but this is for your own good.

My definitive prediction is a 4-12 record for the Dolphins in 2008.

New England Patriots

You know what really isn’t promising? The way the Patriots have played this preseason.

The most gutsy thing I have seen them do is Matt Gutierrez (3rd string QB) leading them to 2 touchdowns against the Eagles 3rd string defense at the end of the game on Friday night.

And yes, I am a firm believer that preseason means very little when it comes to the actual NFL…but I still think the Patriots need to step up a little bit or they will suffer some rust early in the season (and that will not be good).

The Patriots still have the same starting offensive line that was devoured by the Giants defense in the Superbowl. They added some back ups (added some youth here) but the starting O-line is the same.

At wide-out they lost Donte Stallworth but still have Moss, Welker, Jabar Gaffney and expect the full return (and rebirth) of Chad Jackson (who did look good on Friday). They also have Kelley Washington and Sam Aiken who might catch a pass here and there. That is still a high quality receiving group. Probably one of the best sets in the NFL.

The tight ends are the same (Watson and Thomas).

Something the Patriots have done almost every off season for the last decade or so is add another running back. Usually it is someone who was decent as a backup on another team or a veteran in the twilight of their career. Last season they added Sammy Morris for depth. Unfortunately Morris was injured several games in a missed the rest of the season. This isn’t to say that the Patriots were short-handed at running back (they had Kevin Faulk and Maroney splitting time as well as the occasional Kyle Eckel carry)…the thing is, running backs get hurt. Easily. It happens.

Kevin Faulk is not a workhorse back. He can take a few carries a game and catch passes, but he isn’t a grinding back.

Maroney is a finesse runner. he cuts a lot and when he gets into the open field, he is great, but he also doesn’t exactly bang through guys.

Sammy Morris was great last year because he was powerful and solid in short yardage situations.

Morris is back and the Patriots took it a step further and added Lamont Jordan this season as well. Jordan is a bruiser when he’s healthy. If the Patriots split time between the backs, they should have no problem frustrating defenses and establishing a ground game. If they split time, they will also be able to keep guys fresh and (hopefully) reduce the stress on all of them throughout the regular season so that they are all healthy and energetic for the Playoffs (in a perfect world…in real life, having 3 of them left for the Playoffs would be astounding).

I love the Jordan pick up.

On defense, the Patriots got faster and younger. They added Victor Hobson (who should be great in the mix) and Jerod Mayo and Shawn Crable look like they should be solid additions to the pass rush.

In the secondary the Patriots sort of seemed to embrace that no team has a great secondary, so they added a series of young guys who are capable and hopefully can provide the coverage they were so sorely lacking for a lot of last season. Losing Asante Samuel shouldn’t be a huge issue. Nor should losing Randall Gay. If the pass rush is better, the defensive backs don’t need to be better (it would help, but I think the idea is a great pass rush will offset the loss of having [at best] an average secondary). And as always, I’m inclined to believe that Bill Belichick knows what he’s doing when it comes to coaching a team and developing players.

Still, the preseason does not look promising.

And looking at the schedule, if the rust does carry over, I could easily see a situation where the Patriots are 4-4 through week 9.

I’m going low ball it and assume the worst of this team.

My definitive prediction is an 11-5 record for the Patriots in 2008.


Weekend Wrap Up

August 11, 2008

So there were these Olympics things that started.

I did what any American would do and ordered Peking Ravioli and Crab Rangoons and enjoyed 5 hours of Olympic mastery.

A couple of notes:

1) The whole thing was surreal and sort of scary.

2) Bob Costas needs to stop talking about how great China is. I get it. It’s improving. China still isn’t a great place to be. They still have a lot of issues. These Olympics shouldn’t be treated as a victory lap. They should be treated more as the start of a long race. There is still a long way to go. To the point that a few times I thought to myself “I wonder if these dancers will get executed if they mess up….”

3) Yao Ming is tall.

4) I like fireworks.

5) I hate tape delay.

Of course the Olympics featured a murder/suicide on day 2.

Also unfortunate this weekend, Russia has become very aggresive in Georgia. This has prompted me to change the name of my Fantasy Football team which was “The USSR Hammer & Sickle” for 4 years running to a temporary replacement of “Free Matt Jones!!!”. I cannot support the actions of a government that murders innocent civilians with my fantasy football team name. I guess I need to put my CCCP shirt in the back of my closet for a while.

If anyone has any suggestions as to what I should rename my Fantasy Football team, please let me know.

I saw Have Heart, Shipwreck (featuring Bombs), Verse, Blacklisted and New Lows this weekend. Great show. Have Heart was astounding as usual. Blacklisted had a nice set. Shipwreck did not experience the “technical difficulties” that plagued them at Sound and Fury (“technical difficulties” is code for Bombs being black out drunk and unable to play guitar). New Lows were really solid. They impressed Blade.  A lot of fun. It takes going to hardcore shows to see who exactly is buying all of the stylish Boston Red Sox hats…

Brett Favre fumbled a snap and ran a lap at Jets training camp. He will most likely be doing this frequently during the regular season. Hopefully at least 7 times a game.

My hope here is that at some point this season, Eric Mangini thinks to himself “Shit! WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF WITH PENNINGTON!!!”.

Chris Carpenter is hurt again!! OH my! That NEVER happens.The only person who seems to be hurt as consistently as him is Plaxico Burress. Fortunately Plaxico is healthy right now….wait a minute!

Sadly, Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes both passed away this weekend.

Oh, and Team USA is better than Team China at basketball. Who would have guessed?


Brett Favre Goes All Wilson Phillips and Says “Release Me”. Is a Giant Piece of Trash.

August 5, 2008

Listen to me Favrey, I don’t care how much you love Wilson Phillips, stop the j/o sessions to this stupid video, shut up and retire.

If you get traded to the Jets I will actually cheer for Jerod Mayo to break all of your ribs twice this season. Yes. I will. I am starting to hate you. You deserve no news coverage for being a flake and soon to be has-been. Look at what happens to quarterbacks who hang around too long. It isn’t pretty. Move on Favrey. Move on.

I’m also going to just come out and say it, you benefited HEAVILY  the Packers being an all around good team last season. They had a good defense great receiving crew and solid running game. If you go to the Jets or the Bucs, it will be nothing short of hilarious to watch you throw INT after INT to guys who can’t catch worth a damn against defenses that know that you aren’t running the ball.

I root for your failure.

Also any Green Bay fans who still support this guy are out of their fucking minds. How could you not have lost respect for him. All he cares about is himself. Clearly he does not care about you or your team.

Give it up.


Brett Favre Starts “Competing” For QB Job With The Packers

August 5, 2008

What’s more offensive to you, annoying old quarterbacks that can’t make up their minds or stupid organizations that think you’re a moron?

Brett Favre will be “competing” with Aaron Rodgers for the starting quarterback job in Green Bay.

That is roughly the equivalent to me competing with Rajon Rondo for the starting point guard job for the Boston Celtics.

“Roberts isn’t that good…plus we won a title with Rondo…and Rondo is faster…he makes better plays…he can set a screen and a pick and roll…he had better hands…ummm…I’m just come out and say it, Rondo is ALL AROUND BETTER AT EVERYTHING…Let the competition begin.”

It’s a shame too because I am absolutely LETHAL beyond the arc…

See how stupid this bullshit is?

This is why I try my hardest not to cover it.

The whole thing makes me hate Brett Favre and hope that when he gets the starting job, he throws like 14 TDs and 27 INTs and is forced to retire again.

Bill Simmons had a great line on his podcast last week he said something to the effect of “I was watching ‘There’s Something About Mary’ the other night and you know when Brett Favre shows up at the end? I sort of expected him to waffle on and on about whether or not he REALLY likes Mary.”


Rhode Island Man .491 Blood Alcohol Level, Brett Favre’s Trade Value

July 22, 2008

Just so you know this is not in any way related to this.

Just so you know.


Nick Kaczur Incident.

July 19, 2008

Remember when Brett Favre was addicted to pain pills? Nobody gave a rat’s ass. 

But Nick Kaczur? People want that guy cut. 

I know Favre wasn’t caught bringing pills across the Canadian border or buying them or what have you. But the bottom line is, Oxycontin is not a performance enhancer. Nor is Vicodin. And both guys were abusers of their preferred substances.

The whole “Kaczur wears a wire” because he got caught thing aside, why is that one football player gets thrown under the bus for his wrongdoings while another football player is front page news every damn day because he is an indecisive bastard?

I just don’t like the way the game is played.

Not football. The media game. Its all bullshit. If Kaczur wasn’t a part of the evil empire of the New England Patriots I doubt we would even hear about this. Hell Marvin Harrison’s whole gun that shot a little boy thing is completely forgotten at this point and that happened what, like 2 months ago?

I’m not saying Kaczur shouldn’t be disciplined, but I don’t think that people should be having a field day at his behalf because he has a substance abuse problem. Shit, if you look close enough at the NFL, I’m sure you’ll find A LOT OF GUYS have a substance abuse problem.

They just haven’t been caught yet.


Packers Fans Harass Packers Brass On Behalf Of Favre

July 14, 2008

You know where I stand on this.

Brett Favre should stay retired.

He left football for all the right reasons.

If he comes back it will be for a lot of the wrong ones.

Packers fans held a rally where they tailgated and chanted and protested for Favre to be the starting QB. People held signs that read “Favre ‘08″.

I really think that a lot of Packers fans like Brett more than they even like the team. I wonder what might happen if they fall into complete obscurity over the next 10 seasons.

If only people were this passionate about ending foreign entanglements…

Anyway, clearly Brett Favre is better than Aaron Rogers. Clearly. But if he does return as the starting quarterback, I wouldn’t fault Rogers at all for slashing Brett’s tires, taking a shit inside Brett’s helmet, putting Icy Hot in Brett’s jockstrap or demanding a trade immediately and forgoing all sophomoric pranks.

Rogers would probably be a step up in Carolina. He would DEFINITELY be a step up in Minnesota and Chicago.

We wont be seeing much of this next season...

We won't be seeing much of this next season...

Just stay out of football Brett. Do the right thing. Go bass fishing, buy a grocery store, build a homeless shelter, start a robotics company, build cyborgs that can fight each other. Do anything else.

Just stay retired. 

Also, I have felt for a long time that there is a certain level of player who is good enough to keep his team decent but not good enough to win it all for them. Like Tony Gwynnor Barry Sanders. Guys who carry teams to the playoffs or keep them relevant, but aren’t enough to win it all. As a result their teams always end up with like the 14th-26thdraft pick each year. Which hardly ever works out to be a great addition. It keeps the team stuck in a cog. Look at the Lions. I would venture to say that had something to do with their troubles in the 90’s into the early 2000’s. The lack of QB, constant drafting of overrated WR’s and defensive issues have been the recent problem.